You deserve to be happy!

For over 10 years, there was someone who was very important to me. She was like a mother to me and I looked up to her with all my heart and would have done anything for her. My own mother suffered from mental illness and would abuse me and swear in various ways when she had seizures, so from a very young age I was looking for a motherly figure in my life.

The person also had a very tragic life and I felt compassion for her. I wished to heal that person’s heart and dreamed of having a relationship with her that would be more than a real daughter. However, that person often complained when I failed in some way. I thought it was because I was not good enough, so I would say, “I am sorry. I will be careful next time,” and sincerely regretted it. This situation continued for years, and I did not do anything that the person did not like.

However, as these situations continued, they gradually became a source of great stress. My Christian friends would only say, “If you keep doing your best, she will understand you someday,” but One day, I became defiant and she put her hand on me. A friend of mine said it was disgusting what she did, but I said, “No, it’s my fault.” I believed that I was not good enough. Furthermore, the person had friends, who also began to insidiously bully me.

One day I decided that I could no longer continue like this and began seeking counseling. I also had sessions with several therapists. I gradually came to understand that narcissists, or in psychological terms, people with narcissistic personality disorder exist in the world, and when I interacted with them, I lost confidence in myself, thinking that I was not good enough or that it was because of my bad character, and my life became very miserable without my knowing it.

I learned in depth what narcissistic personality disorder is. I also learned that I have a responsibility to draw boundaries to protect my natural talents and nature and not to let others step into my mind. And in a way, I came to believe that it was a period of training from the universe to help me grow and help others. My sessions are part of my own life journey. I would be happy to walk with you.

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